silly poems


Birdie, birdie in the sky
Why'd you drop that in my eye
I won't sigh, I won't cry
I'm only glad that cows don't fly
I wish I had your picture
It would be very nice
I'd put it in the attic
to scare away the mice
I wish I held you my arms
My heart would be aquiver
And if I held you near the shore
I'd throw you in the river
Your mother was a commie
Your father was a spy
And you're the dirty little rat
Who told the F.B.I
I wish I was a birdie
Up in the sky so blue
I'd fly over my teacher's head
You know what birdies do!


I went to kiss my girlfriend
I had to do it sneaking
I kissed her on the mouth
but oooh, her nose was leaking
I love you, I love you, I love you
so well
If I had a peanut
I'd give you the shell
I love you, I love you, with my heart and soul
If I had a doughnut
I'd give you the hole
Roses are red, violets are blue
Sugar is sweet and so are you

But the roses are wilting
The violets are dead
The sugar bowl's empty
And so is your head
How red is the rose
How deep is the well
Your feet are like flowers
'Cause boy do they smell!
I think of you when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming

I hold you in a fond embrace
Just don't take that bag off
of your face

A peanut sat on the railroad track
It's heart was all a'flutter
Along came the 5:05
Oops, peanut butter!
A cow stood on a railroad track
A train was coming fast
The train got off the railroad track
To let the cow go past

Roses are red
Paper is thin
Your ears are like leaves
'Cause they flap in the wind
My mother yelled as I slept
"Get up you lazy sinner
We need your sheet for a tablecloth
And it's almost time for dinner"
I'm not going to marry that schoolteacher
I'll tell you the reason why
She blows her nose in old cornbread
And calls it pumpkin pie
I'm not going to marry that old maid
I'll tell you the reason why
Her neck's so long and stringy boys
I'm afraid she wouldn't die
I got a gal, she's six feet tall
She sleeps in the kitchen
with her feet in the hall

A ventriloquist lived in
New York
who had a dummy he couldn't make talk
And so with a pin, he stuck it and then
It not only talked, but it walked!

Tis done under the mistletoe
Tis done under the rose
But the proper place to kiss you know
Is just under the nose



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