| Home |
| Literacy |
| Nutrition |
| For Sale |
| Jokes |
| Video |
| Schedule |
| Resume |
| Reviews |
| Audio |
| Gorillas |
| Contact |
|
Steve and Harry
have been recording and presenting on stage hundreds of jokes for what
seems like hundreds of years. One more note;
Steve performs for adults as well as kids and what's appropriate for
one place may not be appropriate for another (believe me, Steve has
learned that the hard way). For instance, Steve and Harry's school show
is squeaky clean. Some of these jokes are a wee bit too strong
for a school
assembly and therefore are avoided. Steve: If you put your hand in
one pocket and take out 28 dollars and Steve: If I have 6 oranges in one hand and I have 8 oranges
in the Steve: If I had 300 dollars and I gave you half. What would
you have? Steve: What's 2 and 4 and 38 and 67? Steve: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Steve: Why did the 2nd monkey
fall out of the tree? Steve: Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? Steve: Why did the tree fall down? Steve: What do you call a man with a bus on his head? Steve: What happens if your arms falls off? Steve: What did the fish say when he swam into the concrete
wall? Steve: The Spanish fireman named his first kid Jose, what
did he Steve: Who was Mark Twain’s bigger brother? Steve: When does a policeman smell? Steve: Why do they call the airplanes Boeing 747's? Steve: What did the chicken say when it laid a square egg? Steve: What did the 0 say to the 8? Steve: What did the dyslexic rabbi say? Steve: If your hair is falling out what can you use to keep
it in? Steve: Should a woman have babies after 35? Steve: A guy rushes into a doctor’s office with a celery
stalk in one ear, Steve: A guy rushes into a doctor’s office and says
I’m shrinking, Steve: The invisible man rushes into the doctor’s office.
What does Steve: What would it be called if A&P and Stop N' Shop
merged? Steve : What’s a one-eyed deer called? Steve: What's a dead one-eyed deer called? Steve: What do you say to a one legged hitchhiker? Steve: What would you say if the Statue of Liberty
sneezed? Steve: What’s the difference between brussel sprouts
and boogers? Steve: If a boy is a lad and he has a step-father, what
does that Steve: Why did the blind man have a yellow leg? Steve: What happens if you sleep with your head under the
pillow? Steve: How would you divide 4 apples among three children? Steve: How would you put 4 horses into 3 stalls? Steve: How would you put 15 children into a room 3
feet by
4 feet Steve : What does zero mean to you? Steve: If a boy is a lad and he has a stepfather, what does
that
make him? Steve: What does a ballerina with only one leg wear? Steve:How do you know when a turkey is done? Steve:How do you keep from getting parking tickets? Steve:Why did the ocean roar? Put Downs You're getting so famous I heard they're thinking of putting your picture on a postage stamp.. they decided not to, because people started spitting on the wrong side You're so stupid it takes you an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes You know why your mother called you Steve when you were a kid? Because she couldn't spell AAAHHHHHH! You remind me of the ocean..No, not because you're deep and profound..because you make me sick You have beautiful hair..coming from each nostril You're so ugly, everytime you go to the ocean, pick up a seashell and hold it up to your ear, it tells you to get off the beach! You're a saint..a Saint Bernard You're like an angel fallen from the sky..too bad you had to land on your face. You remind me of St. Paul..St. Paul, Minnesota the most boring city in the United States You're ugly..you're kind..you're kind of ugly You're so old the key on Ben Franklin's kite was the key to your apartment You're so old when you walk by a graveyard, guys come running after you with shovels You're so old your social security number is 2 You're so old you were a waiter at the last supper You're spoiled..or does your whole family smell that way You're so ugly your mother had to tie a lambchop around your neck when you were a kid just so the dog would play with you Everytime I look in your eyes.. all I see is the back of your head I love the way the lightbulb lights up the hair in your ears. You watch a lot of TV don't you? I can tell because you have square eyeballs. You have a kind face..the kind that makes me sick.
|